Baby Boomer Love: How to Check Your Relationship for Marriage Potential

Baby Boomer Love: How to Check Your Relationship for Marriage Potential

Go Food Shopping Together During First Few Months of Relationship

Baby Boomer Relationship Advice

Courtship Over 50

Often singles looking for marriage and a life-long love relationship when they are dating are envisioning these super romantic dates.  And particularly the singles-never-married folks are sort of flipping back and forth between serious courtship impressing each other dates (important because you are displaying your visual attractiveness in the women combined with our graciousness and essence, while the man is display the resources he gives her access to, including his intellect, reading repertoire, athletic pursuits, and lifestyle) and the desire to just hang, wear sweats, and eat pizza on the couch. Netflix and forget it, right?

A lot of the Midlife Singles have been married before. You might be divorced.  You might be widowed, as I am. In all likelihood by the time the clock rolled over on your 40th birthday, you’ve probably been in at least 1 or 2 relationships which lasted longer than just dating each other for 3 dates. Romantic relationships which hit the 6 month mark or even multiple year marker. By then, you two had, hopefully, mutually uttered those important words to each other, “I love you.” As an age group, you’re often looking sooner for a life partner sort of relationship rather than serial dating.
With that, both for GenX and Boomers, and fast approaching younger singles in the Millenials wishing to couple up and no longer play the field of love, hookups, and serial monogamy, one of the Dates I recommend a couple participate in after about the 6 week mark is to start to do SOME of the Life Sharing activities together.  Yes, do go hiking this weekend if that is something you normally do, and that is not just a courting behavior that you would totally abandon within 3 months of marriage.  However, beforehand, bop into the grocery store and hit the deli, pick up some sandwiches for the hike, some bottled water and some chopped fresh fruit.  Even 15 – 20 minutes in the grocery store lends itself to Normal Life mode of life.

One of the attributes singles consistently cite they’re seeking in a life long love romantic partner is to share their lives together. Well, periodically, not too soon, mind you, start sampling some of those “Shared Life” experience with each other. This is not meant to be a droll invitation to have her do his laundry for him. Nor, once you’re adults and ideally at least one of you has a home with a washer dryer there and no longer dependent upon public laundromats, should head over to the Landro-Mat to “hang” and do laundry waiting for machines. That’s ok for the singles in their 20s and early 30s.
Even the truly urban-based metropolitan singles, one of you should have personal washing and drying machine access. So, even if you invite the other to come over for the afternoon Saturday and really the whole evening into dinner and beyond, “to do laundry and stuff,” that means you’ve got machines in your home to use. The two of you will actually spend the time doing something engaging together. Not leaning against a machine and waiting at the Lavandería.

You want to start putting your toe in the wading pool of Normal Life.  Because Married Life is where you share your Life with another.  And Life includes buying toilet paper, weekly groceries, buying generic for some items, purchasing a name brand for another, reading labels, and buying covert amounts of junk food (ok, the small bag of potato chips so you don’t eat too many, they’re over by the deli counter).  You want both to start testing the waters of how is that like with this person?  As well as a gentle way to start to reveal a more fully rounded genuine you with your date.  So they can see how they like sharing Life with you, wonderful you.

It is in the small things, the mundane things that married life often plays out.  And it is the little stupid things over which married couples bicker and fight.  When you start to share the silly normal life activities together, you start to see if you are aligned, not identical, about the stuff that makes up daily life.

Not the platform of the political party where you are registered voter, but about if a brand name toilet paper matters to you both.  And exchanging that information in a non-judgmental manner.  Sort of observing each other.  One is not right and the other wrong.  It’s just that invariably you two are different.  Indeed, it is the differences which make for chemistry.

And you might find you change brands or try something, gasp, new as a result of your date’s input or preferences.  And that contributes to life’s rich tapestry.  We expand each other.  The differences between you are what will stretch each of you a little and makes for part of the very purpose of relationships – to become the person you will be as a result of your knowing them.  You will become a new you, more of your best self.  And those are the people we always want in our lives, whether it results in marriage or not.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell
Orange County Life Coach Newport Beach/Irvine Midlife Dating Coach

Follow and Engage with April on Twitter: @AprilBraswell
 April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Divorce Support Groups as well as at Singles Dating Workshops and Singles Conferences in Orange County CA Life Coach April Braswell, LA and San Francisco.

Best Orange County CA Life Coach April Braswell. Life and Business Coaching in Newport Beach right by the juncture of Costa Mesa, and Irvine.top 3

Orange County CA Life Coach April Braswell. Life and Business Coaching in Newport Beach right by the juncture of Costa Mesa, and Irvine.

Orange County CA Life Coach April Braswell. Life and Business Coaching in Newport Beach right by the juncture of Costa Mesa, and Irvine.

Orange County CA Life Coach April Braswell. Life and Business Coaching in Newport Beach right by the juncture of Costa Mesa, and Irvine.

Orange County CA Life Coach April Braswell. Life and Business Coaching in Newport Beach right by the juncture of Costa Mesa, and Irvine.


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Seeking Love Online

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Boomer Dating Success – Dating Again After Divorce or Death of a Spouse

OK, so one of the most common characteristics of Single Boomers is we are either dating again after divorce or the death of a spouse. Certainly, as a group there is usually a need to Prepare the Wall with Divorce Support or Grief Support work in the Grief Recovery® Seminar first before Painting the House in Dating Again.

Once the Surface is Prepared, it is great to start painting your house: Get Out on More Dates.

Indeed, studies show time and again that the majority of married people met their spouse via people they knew in common. Through friends, through common associations, through mutual acquaintances.

So, what is the number one behavior which will then increase your chances of meeting your new love?

MEET MORE NEW PEOPLE

It will depend on the nature of your metro area for how easy it is to do that and what sort of events happen regularly which you can attend.

You want to combine a mix of events which are sort of a group association – like a Salsa or Classical Dance group which meets regularly – with one off events which you attend only periodically.

ASSOCIATIONS and GROUPS

This is your community, your tribe. You want to attend these regularly, just don’t let it be your only resource. These associations and groups – dance groups, singles groups, Bible Study/Church groups – can often become a bit insular. Sometimes new people attend their events. Sometimes only the same people have been attending for months.

Do attend such events, just not exclusively.

SPECIAL OCCASION EVENTS

Often a Special Occasion is observed by a series of public events. They are really sort of one off. St. Patrick’s Day. Gay/Lesbian Pride cocktails parties. Art Gallery openings. Scotch Tastings. Pinot Noir Tastings. Memorial Day BBQs.

I know I promised about 10 days ago to give you a week on the theme of Baby Boomer Dating and then proceeded to talk about Long Term Marriage Relationship Success last week. Why? Because events in my life on Monday just opened that door, so I went through it for the week. That’s the joy of blogging.

Well, THIS is the week I will focus on Baby Boomer Dating. This was the first.
Happy Dating and Relationships!

April Braswell

Dating and Relationship Expert

Baby Boomers Want a Different Dating Relationship – Ozzy and Harriet This Ain't No More

Just back from Viva Las Vegas where I presented two dating seminars, the hosts antiquatedly calling in Computer Dating. Internet Personals. Internet Dating, Cyber Dating. Online Dating. Whatever you want to call this wonderful subset of Web 2.0 websites, singles are interested in and actively using the dating sites to attract, pursue, and find love online.

Each of the workshops was covering different phases of online dating at a annual Singles Conference in Las Vegas. Most of the singles there were 40 years old and older, ergo most were of the Baby Boomer generation. Some GenX singles. The workshops addressed different aspect of winning at Internet Dating and being successful at dating online, while using safety and precaution. The workshops themselves were very interactive, which was just great because that meant that the participants really got their money’s worth in terms of their investment of time and moola in attending. That is always a good thing for the conference organizers and their being happy and delighted with the invited guest speakers.

Well, one of the themes which emerged in both sessions as well as was point of conversation then at lunchtime was that the single Baby Boomers at this stage in life, after 50 years old pretty much - they want a different kind of relationship than when they were 20 somethings or even early 30s somethings.

When that is the case, and you are dating, after you likely already had children and now own a small house, a townhouse, or a condo, those are important things to discuss in the date 3-5+. Start contemplating and articulating, What do you want? Now that you have already had kids… what do you want now in a relationship? The Boomer generation grew up watching the now classic TV show, Ozzy and Harriet. Well, their marriage model no longer rings true for this generation for what they want in a life partner or marriage relationship after 50 years old.

Not only are these important things and questions to ask your date once you first determine whether or not there even is the all-important imperative of In-Person Chemistry (not just the fantasy from Internet Dating Email exchanges). These are also important questions to pose to yourself! And Dating is the laboratory for vetting out the truth, testing, and refining.

Until you are well-matched for LIFE partnership… which may or may not at your age result in marriage

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

Boomer Dating Expert

Seniors Online Personal Guide Review

As part of my work as a Dating and Relationship Coach where many of my romance coach clients are over 40 and indeed over 50, I have recently created a guide to online dating sites.

Here it is!

Internet Dating Sites Guide, Online Dating Sites Review

One of the biggest issues that plague us as we age is that we get into social ruts.

Sort of #1 is to GET OUT and ABOUT and go try and do NEW things.

Enjoy!

Dating over 50 - Finding Love Again

I'm a Romance Coach and Relationship Coach, in fact an Online Dating Coach. The latter is rather a sub-specialty of the former.

Most of my clients who are Baby Boomers singles over 40 and 50 have indeed already been married. This is very different than my clients who are younger and have never been married. Although indeed, I do work with some clients who are over 50 who have never married but indeed want to.

 Baby Boomer Dating Expert Coach

I will post over time about particular issues to dating over 40 and 50 and looking to find love over 50.

For this age group IN PARTICULAR, please I DO recommend you leverage my Internet Dating Sites Guide. You will be richly blessed and your life more fulfilled by doing so!

There are also quite a LOT of free Dating Articles there. check it out!

I'll be adding tidbits here in the coming weeks and months about Adult Singles Dating. So DO check back later! Date as grown up person even when you feel like a teenager inside!

Enjoy, have fun and play safe!


All the best,
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach